Fast forward 6 years and I have what I would consider the perfect family! They are my life and I love each of them with all my heart and soul and would do anything, sacrifice anything and walk to the ends of the earth for each and every one of them. Are they perfect? Not at all! Am I perfect? Hardly! But we are family, and we know how important that is, and we show it in small ways every single day.
Tyree...the love of my life. It's been rocky I have to say, but he is so worth everything we have been through! He IS a wonderful husband and a wonderful father! He takes care of us and is always there for us. He sacrifices day in and day out and is the best teacher any of us can ask for! Plus, after 15 years together, I still think he's hot!
Keegan, my baby boy who just turned 8 and is turning into such a great little man. He gets it...he gets money and responsibility and family and compassion and is turning out to be such a neat little person!
Kalise, my 6 year old princess. She is so smart and so beautiful! She is a lover of life and animals. She is a saver of money and knows that family is number 1. She is in love with her daddy and already shows she will be a great but still independent wife and mother someday!
Stay tuned...more to come!
Friday, June 11, 2010
The Kalise
So I wasn't a very milky mom. Keegan, bless his heart, just didn't get the whole breast-feeding thing, so rather than be stressed out and blame myself for starving my baby to death, I thought I would pump. Well, if there really is nothing to pump, that kind of defeats the purpose of not feeling like a complete failure and starving your child. So onto formula we went, and then there really was no reason to stay on the pill. Since it had taken 18 mos to get pregnant with Keegan, we figured it would take a while to get pregnant again, so when Keegan was 8 mos old, I went off the pill. Wouldn't you know....the first month out of the gate, we got pregnant! We were in Denver when we started thinking maybe it could be true. I called my midwife because I thought I might have a bladder infection and wanted them to write me some antibiotics. She asked if I could possibly be pregnant and the answer was that yes, it was possible, but not very probable. I was a little late, but I was just off the pill and on vacation...However, when we got home from vacation and I was STILL late, I took another test....turns out it is easier to get pregnant when you are just off birth control because your system is still "on track". (The problem the first time was that my body was not an any type of schedule so it was hard to tell when was a good time to try...go figure!)
We were again thrilled and I was expecting everything to be as blissful as it was before...and boy I couldn't have been more wrong! I was miserable! I was sick, I was crabby, I had a baby at home and was pregnant and hot and....you get the point! (still no weird cravings though!) My darling husband was again wonderful though, and was so good with the baby...it always did my heart good to watch the two of them together. When we found out it was a girl we couldn't have been happier! The plan was coming together...the boy, the girl...the perfectly balanced little family! We did a lot of traveling during that pregnancy. The best trip was our road trip to Niagara Falls. Baby Keegan was a champ, as was Tyree traveling with a 7 month pregnant woman and a baby! That was a great trip though! It was our very first family trip all 4 of us... :o)
Our midwife gave us a choice to try to have the baby naturally or to just go ahead with a scheduled c-section. Since we already knew how the c-section worked and I was scared to see what actually going into labor would be like, we opted for the c-section. We were given the choice between October 29th or 31st. I DID NOT want a Halloween baby, so we chose the 29th. The ride to the hospital was strange to me. Like we were going there to get a present ... Didn't have to worry about labor or contractions - no birth plan, no practicing of breathing or anything like that. It was just very strange to me. The worst part, again, was having to get that needle shoved in my spine and they wouldn't let Tyree be there while they did it. Again, when he came into the Operating Room, I was sick from the medicine and begged him to just take me home - and again he wouldn't! Nice, huh??
Kalise Ty'Shay Katherine Walton - Ocotber 29th, 2003 around 2ish pm - 8lbs, 12 oz and 20 inches - beautiful, perfect, healthy baby girl! Exactly 17 mos after her brother!
Tyree was at the hospital with us again the whole time! 2 days later on Halloween he went to get Keegan in his little Halloween costume and bring him up to the hospital so I could see him, and when they got there the nurses said he could take us home as I was up walking around and was able to use the bathroom. Halloween 2003 we walked in the front door and our little family was complete!
We laugh about this now, but we quickly learned that if the first 9 mos of pregnancy were miserable, that having a pre-toddler at home and a baby with colic who screamed constantly day and night for 9 mos was about as bad as we could fathom! We tried everything with her and the only thing that worked was standing (no kidding) on the 7th step of our staircase. If we veered off even one step she would start screaming again. That poor girl had so much medicine to combat gas it wasn't even funny. This time I didn't ask when we could do it again! It was a loooooong 9 mos! We joke that she hasn't stopped crying yet, 6 years later, but I guess she's better! LOL
We were again thrilled and I was expecting everything to be as blissful as it was before...and boy I couldn't have been more wrong! I was miserable! I was sick, I was crabby, I had a baby at home and was pregnant and hot and....you get the point! (still no weird cravings though!) My darling husband was again wonderful though, and was so good with the baby...it always did my heart good to watch the two of them together. When we found out it was a girl we couldn't have been happier! The plan was coming together...the boy, the girl...the perfectly balanced little family! We did a lot of traveling during that pregnancy. The best trip was our road trip to Niagara Falls. Baby Keegan was a champ, as was Tyree traveling with a 7 month pregnant woman and a baby! That was a great trip though! It was our very first family trip all 4 of us... :o)
Our midwife gave us a choice to try to have the baby naturally or to just go ahead with a scheduled c-section. Since we already knew how the c-section worked and I was scared to see what actually going into labor would be like, we opted for the c-section. We were given the choice between October 29th or 31st. I DID NOT want a Halloween baby, so we chose the 29th. The ride to the hospital was strange to me. Like we were going there to get a present ... Didn't have to worry about labor or contractions - no birth plan, no practicing of breathing or anything like that. It was just very strange to me. The worst part, again, was having to get that needle shoved in my spine and they wouldn't let Tyree be there while they did it. Again, when he came into the Operating Room, I was sick from the medicine and begged him to just take me home - and again he wouldn't! Nice, huh??
Kalise Ty'Shay Katherine Walton - Ocotber 29th, 2003 around 2ish pm - 8lbs, 12 oz and 20 inches - beautiful, perfect, healthy baby girl! Exactly 17 mos after her brother!
Tyree was at the hospital with us again the whole time! 2 days later on Halloween he went to get Keegan in his little Halloween costume and bring him up to the hospital so I could see him, and when they got there the nurses said he could take us home as I was up walking around and was able to use the bathroom. Halloween 2003 we walked in the front door and our little family was complete!
We laugh about this now, but we quickly learned that if the first 9 mos of pregnancy were miserable, that having a pre-toddler at home and a baby with colic who screamed constantly day and night for 9 mos was about as bad as we could fathom! We tried everything with her and the only thing that worked was standing (no kidding) on the 7th step of our staircase. If we veered off even one step she would start screaming again. That poor girl had so much medicine to combat gas it wasn't even funny. This time I didn't ask when we could do it again! It was a loooooong 9 mos! We joke that she hasn't stopped crying yet, 6 years later, but I guess she's better! LOL
The Keegan
Pregnancy was great! Man I loved it! The peaceful, serene feeling that I felt all the time...the planning, the shopping, the doting husband who gave me everything that I wanted, the making of the complete Winnie-the-Pooh nursery, I wasn't sick and I don't think I was mean or annoying to be around. I didn't have any weird crazy pregnant woman cravings - though I did have a fondness for hard candy and steak - both of which I previously hated! We found out that we were having a boy and we were absolutely thrilled! Tyree took me to labor classes and we learned all the right things to do (which none would be done!) He was due in May and I was secretly hoping he would come on my birthday, May 20th. (as I was born on my grandmas birthday)
Perfect as my pregnancy was though, the kid just decided that he was going to stay in there forever! I suppose though, why not? Constant free meals, music and stories, built in pool and perfect weather all the time - who wouldn't want to stay? So the 20th came and went... and the 25th...and finally at my appt on May 29th they decided they would kick him out! I was going to be induced. They sent us to the hospital where we waited for awhile and then were sent home as they were full - no lie -due to the full moon! Disappointed, we went home. They called us back later though that night and had us come back. It was late so they hooked me up to some pitocin and had me go to sleep. And of course, my wonderful husband slept by my side the whole time.
The next day I remember in bits and pieces and I know my time frames are skewed...I started having contractions and they gave me an epidural which I was SURE to ask for before it was too late! I hated that they made Tyree leave though while they stuck a 6 inch needle in my spine! I hated it even more that it only took on the left side and I could still feel everything on the right side so they had to do it all over again! I think I was pleasant while in labor...playing cards and cracking jokes. My midwife was not on call so there was some other midwife there that I had never met before. I don't know if she had a vacation to get on with or what, but she started me pushing too early! After about 3 hours (??) the baby's heartbeat was not normal, so they decided I needed an emergency c-section. All I remember about that is being run down the hall on the gurney having to sign some papers about if I died it wasn't their fault and hearing them say that he was such a big baby "gonna be a 10 punder, at least!..." I was scared to death and when they let Tyree in the room finally I started crying and told him to take me home...and you know what? He wouldn't do it!! LOL. Next thing I knew I heard my baby was born and I think I remember fleetingly seeing him as they rushed him by me to the waiting arms of Children's Hospital to take him and put him on oxygen. Turns out his cord had been wrapped around his neck. I was scared, but I really had no idea what was going on. I was sent to recovery and I didn't get to see him for a couple hours. The first parent to hold him was Daddy. Keegan Tyree Walton. May 30th, 2002 - 6:30ish PM. 7 lbs, 6 oz. and 19 incles tall!
Daddy spent all 5 days and 4 nights at the hospital with me - he gave him his first bath, was with him at his circumcision, and never left our side!
Then they sent us home and we were there alone with this little perfect baby. He didn't cry, he slept all the time and was a perfect bundle of joy.
It really was a peaceful, wonderful experience which led me to ask when we got home "Honey, when can we do this again?"
Perfect as my pregnancy was though, the kid just decided that he was going to stay in there forever! I suppose though, why not? Constant free meals, music and stories, built in pool and perfect weather all the time - who wouldn't want to stay? So the 20th came and went... and the 25th...and finally at my appt on May 29th they decided they would kick him out! I was going to be induced. They sent us to the hospital where we waited for awhile and then were sent home as they were full - no lie -due to the full moon! Disappointed, we went home. They called us back later though that night and had us come back. It was late so they hooked me up to some pitocin and had me go to sleep. And of course, my wonderful husband slept by my side the whole time.
The next day I remember in bits and pieces and I know my time frames are skewed...I started having contractions and they gave me an epidural which I was SURE to ask for before it was too late! I hated that they made Tyree leave though while they stuck a 6 inch needle in my spine! I hated it even more that it only took on the left side and I could still feel everything on the right side so they had to do it all over again! I think I was pleasant while in labor...playing cards and cracking jokes. My midwife was not on call so there was some other midwife there that I had never met before. I don't know if she had a vacation to get on with or what, but she started me pushing too early! After about 3 hours (??) the baby's heartbeat was not normal, so they decided I needed an emergency c-section. All I remember about that is being run down the hall on the gurney having to sign some papers about if I died it wasn't their fault and hearing them say that he was such a big baby "gonna be a 10 punder, at least!..." I was scared to death and when they let Tyree in the room finally I started crying and told him to take me home...and you know what? He wouldn't do it!! LOL. Next thing I knew I heard my baby was born and I think I remember fleetingly seeing him as they rushed him by me to the waiting arms of Children's Hospital to take him and put him on oxygen. Turns out his cord had been wrapped around his neck. I was scared, but I really had no idea what was going on. I was sent to recovery and I didn't get to see him for a couple hours. The first parent to hold him was Daddy. Keegan Tyree Walton. May 30th, 2002 - 6:30ish PM. 7 lbs, 6 oz. and 19 incles tall!
Daddy spent all 5 days and 4 nights at the hospital with me - he gave him his first bath, was with him at his circumcision, and never left our side!
Then they sent us home and we were there alone with this little perfect baby. He didn't cry, he slept all the time and was a perfect bundle of joy.
It really was a peaceful, wonderful experience which led me to ask when we got home "Honey, when can we do this again?"
The Waiting
After our miscarriage, we wasted no time in starting to try again! At first it was fun, like an adventure, but as the months went on, it became more frustrating that nothing was happening. We purchased special thermometers to record readings every single morning, used pillows to get me tilted "just the right way", switched the hubby to boxers...you name it, we tried it! But month after month, it just wasn't happening. The more desperate and frustrated we became, the more and more it wasn't so fun anymore.
16/17 mos. later, we went to the Dr. to start testing both of us to see if there were any medical reasons why we were not getting results. They did a sperm count test on my husband and also had us to a test where they wanted to get samples of him from ME, so he came home from work early one day...we did our business and headed to the Dr! They poked, prodded and swabbed and sent us on our way to await results. A couple weeks later, we got a letter in the mail stating that his sperm was "slow" and they wanted him to come in for another test. That next morning, however, we got some very different news about his sperm! That next morning, I decided to take a home test since I was late...It was September 11th, 2001. I was in the bathroom and Tyree was in the bedroom watching TV as we both got ready for the morning. He was glued to the TV - yelling a story to me about a plane crash in New York. Exactly in the 7 minutes between World Trade Centers 1 and 2 being crashed into by terrorists, I ran into the bedroom frantically waving the test in my hand! We were pregnant again! With the tragic events of the morning staring at us from the small 13" screen in the bedroom of a basement apartment in North Minneapolis - somehow through all of the chaos that the world was suddenly in, I knew in an instant that everything with this pregnancy would work out and we would have a baby!
(On a side note, as we calculated the conception date at our first Dr.'s Appts, we concluded that conception took place that day he came home from work early for our Dr. Appt we had to test how everything was working - you know, the one that told us his sperm was slow? Yep! That's when it happened!)
16/17 mos. later, we went to the Dr. to start testing both of us to see if there were any medical reasons why we were not getting results. They did a sperm count test on my husband and also had us to a test where they wanted to get samples of him from ME, so he came home from work early one day...we did our business and headed to the Dr! They poked, prodded and swabbed and sent us on our way to await results. A couple weeks later, we got a letter in the mail stating that his sperm was "slow" and they wanted him to come in for another test. That next morning, however, we got some very different news about his sperm! That next morning, I decided to take a home test since I was late...It was September 11th, 2001. I was in the bathroom and Tyree was in the bedroom watching TV as we both got ready for the morning. He was glued to the TV - yelling a story to me about a plane crash in New York. Exactly in the 7 minutes between World Trade Centers 1 and 2 being crashed into by terrorists, I ran into the bedroom frantically waving the test in my hand! We were pregnant again! With the tragic events of the morning staring at us from the small 13" screen in the bedroom of a basement apartment in North Minneapolis - somehow through all of the chaos that the world was suddenly in, I knew in an instant that everything with this pregnancy would work out and we would have a baby!
(On a side note, as we calculated the conception date at our first Dr.'s Appts, we concluded that conception took place that day he came home from work early for our Dr. Appt we had to test how everything was working - you know, the one that told us his sperm was slow? Yep! That's when it happened!)
The Baby
About 3 months before the wedding I stopped taking the pill - we aren't old fashioned...we were getting married and didn't see any problem with being pregnant right away. Besides, it could take awhile! We got married October 23rd, 1999. I got pregnant in January. WE WERE SO HAPPY! We had done so much research...were so ready to be parents! The baby was going to be due at the end of September, 2000. In February of that year we took a trip to Chicago with some friends. At the Shedd Aquarium in the bathroom I started bleeding. Not bad, but I knew right away something was wrong - we weren't heading home until the next day. The next 24 hours were very stressful and even more so getting home Sunday night and having to wait to call the Dr. until Monday. Monday we went to the Dr. and learned that the fetus had no heartbeat...I had had a miscarriage. We were absolutely devastated! I was given the choice to let the remains be expelled naturally, or go have it taken care of in the office. We chose the office route just to get it over with, not knowing how long nature would take. My wonderful husband was by my side every second. After that, we packed up the few little things we had already purchased and set out to try again.
I know they say 1 out of every 4 pregnancies ends in a miscarriage, but it really is extra heart wrenching when it's the first one! Looking back at it now with the new perspectives on life I have in my older years, I realize that obviously it wasn't the right time for us to start our family. Maybe we needed a test? Maybe something would have been wrong with the baby? (though that wouldn't have changed how we felt about him or her) Regardless of the reason, I don't question it anymore, but I still to this day have the little teddy bear we bought for that baby on that trip to Chicago...
I know they say 1 out of every 4 pregnancies ends in a miscarriage, but it really is extra heart wrenching when it's the first one! Looking back at it now with the new perspectives on life I have in my older years, I realize that obviously it wasn't the right time for us to start our family. Maybe we needed a test? Maybe something would have been wrong with the baby? (though that wouldn't have changed how we felt about him or her) Regardless of the reason, I don't question it anymore, but I still to this day have the little teddy bear we bought for that baby on that trip to Chicago...
When I was younger I never saw myself married with kids. I never planned my wedding as a girl or really played with dolls all that much. As a teenager I liked kids, but just never saw myself in the role of having a family of my own. Now that I have them, I honestly don't know what I would ever do without them! Life would be so boring and mundane. They are such gems, and I am so blessed to have them in my life! When I think of my little family....my husband, my kids and even the dog and cats, I sometimes get so full of pride and love that I feel like I am going to explode! Trying as it may be sometimes, marriage and motherhood have changed me so much - for the better I might add - and I could never imagine my life any other way!
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