About 3 months before the wedding I stopped taking the pill - we aren't old fashioned...we were getting married and didn't see any problem with being pregnant right away. Besides, it could take awhile! We got married October 23rd, 1999. I got pregnant in January. WE WERE SO HAPPY! We had done so much research...were so ready to be parents! The baby was going to be due at the end of September, 2000. In February of that year we took a trip to Chicago with some friends. At the Shedd Aquarium in the bathroom I started bleeding. Not bad, but I knew right away something was wrong - we weren't heading home until the next day. The next 24 hours were very stressful and even more so getting home Sunday night and having to wait to call the Dr. until Monday. Monday we went to the Dr. and learned that the fetus had no heartbeat...I had had a miscarriage. We were absolutely devastated! I was given the choice to let the remains be expelled naturally, or go have it taken care of in the office. We chose the office route just to get it over with, not knowing how long nature would take. My wonderful husband was by my side every second. After that, we packed up the few little things we had already purchased and set out to try again.
I know they say 1 out of every 4 pregnancies ends in a miscarriage, but it really is extra heart wrenching when it's the first one! Looking back at it now with the new perspectives on life I have in my older years, I realize that obviously it wasn't the right time for us to start our family. Maybe we needed a test? Maybe something would have been wrong with the baby? (though that wouldn't have changed how we felt about him or her) Regardless of the reason, I don't question it anymore, but I still to this day have the little teddy bear we bought for that baby on that trip to Chicago...
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